You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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