I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
