i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
