Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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