My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
