I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i wish my penis had a tongue
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
