Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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