just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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