I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
