Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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