so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
