did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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