I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
