My room smells like vodka and shame
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He? As in you personified your dick?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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