Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
