You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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