I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
