My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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