Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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