Dual....:-)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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