so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
