we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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