super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
