Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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