I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
