Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
