kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
