So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
