Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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