oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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