forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
