God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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