Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
