just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
