Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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