I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
