woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
