I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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