I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
