toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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