thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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