is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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