im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
