Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
