I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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