Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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