oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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