dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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