My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So many bounce houses so little time
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
