I wanna bring you to show and tell
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize
