what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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