dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You're a waste of cheezeits
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
