Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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