plz talk dirty to me
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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