I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
