She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
