Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize