3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
